Thursday, July 14, 2005


On Promiscuity

Promiscuity - n : indulging in promiscuous (casual and indiscriminate) sexual relations

Source: WordNet ® 2.0, © 2003 Princeton University

Promiscuous behavior is all around us, the media glorify it and our young (and not a few older) people pride themselves for it. While it is still more acceptable in men than in women the gap would appear to be closing. In many urban locales, gone are the days when a girl who has had more than her share of sexual partners is dimissed out of hand by all as a slut. Likewise, whereas it used to be merely acceptable for a young man to cat around it now nigh expected. What I wish to speak to in this essay is not promiscuity itself but rather what I believe to be its root cause (in men at least for I will not presume to speak on the female mind, a subject about which I am thoroughly clueless.)

Let us begin by covering some of those things that one would presume cause promiscuity but do not.

1. Sex - It seems silly to say that promiscuous behavior is not caused by a desire for sex but in fact this is the truth, just as overeating is rarely caused by a desire for Big Macs. While it's true that your average promiscuous individual has quite a bit of sex, does he really have more sex than his monogamous counterparts? Rock stars and pro athletes not withstanding, I doubt it. What about the quality of the sex? It doesn't take Dr. Ruth to figure out that a loving monogamous couple intent on pleasing each other are going to have better sex than than two relative strangers who are in it for themselves. So we can rule out sex as the cause of promiscuity in your average guy.

2. Impressing others - Some guys who are promiscuous make a habit of telling their buddies (who are generally promscuous themselves) about all of their conquests. This desire to impress others is related to the root cause of promiscuity but is not the root cause in and of itself. We know this for one simple reason, nobody over the age of 15 is impressed with the number of sexual partners you've had. Other promiscuous types invariably think that, given enough time, they could surpass you (assuming they havn't already), and monogamous types simply pity you for a misguided fool (some may envy you for reasons discussed in the next paragragh.)

So what is the cause of promiscuous behavior. In my opinion it is pride, that which C.S. Lewis refers to as the most wicked of sins. While I was contemplating this essay my first thoughts on the matter centered around "the hunt". Surely most men who have lived a promiscuous life style know this feeling of which I speak, going out to the hunting grounds, surveying the game, choosing a target, and then, conquest. Truth be told, the difficulty of the hunt is really of little importance, the belt will be notched regardless. In truth though, what is the hunt but an expression of insecurity? The unspoken questions are always the same, am I good enough? attractive enough? smooth enough? desirable enough? A confident man feels no need to answer these questions, and consequently, feels no need to engage in the hunt. And what is insecurity but an expersion of pride? It is a desire to lift ourselves up. A desire to glorify ourselves. How appropriate then that this increase in promiscuous behavior coincides with the rise of tee shirts that say "It's all about me" and "Do I look like care?"

This I know, a change in hearts is required before there will be any change in action.

And whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted. Matthew 23:11-13

Bravo, my friend, once again a well thought expose on what eludes the common man! Igoramuses beware, the SGT is on duty!
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